Friday the Thirteenth started well.

I got up at five and drove to John Lennon in the old red van without mishap. Last time I had a blow out on the Runcorn Bridge and drove on for three miles to the first lay by only to find the spare was flat. The noise of flapping rubber was deafening.

After parking up check in went smoothly too and then the trouble started. The queue for security was fifty yards long and not moving. The plane was leaving at 0805. No problem I thought. Over an hour and a half to get on it. At 0730 I'd reached a point where there were large notices disclaiming 'Speedy Security £3'. That's Liverpool. They'll be charging for Mersey Fresh Air next.

Ten minutes later the queue had hardly moved apart from people breaking out of it to put £3 in a machine, collect a ticket and disappear through the turnstile. There was a man in uniform standing by the turnstile. I succumbed and fell out to put the £3 in. I pressed the button and a notice came up on the screen to put another pound in. Confused I pressed the refund button and nothing happened. I couldn't believe it. This was definitely a Scouser. I looked at the man in uniform who had seen me having trouble. He came over and kicked the machine and then got hold of it in both hands and gave it a good shaking. Nothing happened.  The man in uniform let me through the turnstile and I went round a corner to find the speedy queue stopped dead and moving at the same speed as the other one!

At 0800 I moved through security. As I collected my stuff an announcement rang through the airport. 'Would Mr Dewhurst please proceed immediately to Gate 2 where we would like to relieve him and any other sucker who believes everything they read in print of their remaining cash....'  I got to the gate still threading my belt back through my trousers.

Luckily there was someone on the plane I knew who listened to my rant patiently and then we settled back for the flight down to Geneva.

Ski Jungle Blog - Liverpool John Lennon Airport Scam